Survivor Season 23 - 2011

A mechanical rehash of the previous season, “Survivor South Pacific” (it’s Samoa again) brings back two returning players and keeps the Redemption Island gimmick that allows players to return from the dead. It seems like the show is really leaning on its stable of characters in this era, and I appreciate how they give each tribe a focal point and Main Character. I spilled a lot of ink on Russell and Rob last season. This time around, the returning contestants are Coach and Ozzy, and I have less thoughts.

As previously stated, Redemption Island is stupid, but Ozzy is a perfect match for it. Not only does he twice claw his way out of Hades, like Kratos from the OG God of War games, but the first time he asks to be voted out so he can strategically knock out the current occupant and rejoin the game. It’s a phenomenally stupid plan, but by God, it works. Ozzy’s stats are so imbalanced; he’s a horrible alliance leader and social player, but man oh man is he good at challenges and fishing. The platonic Physical Threat. Because of Redemption Island he was voted out of the game three times in a single season, and each time he whooped and broke out into a sprint, as if he was Mario headed to the next level after doing a sick flag stunt. I was not a fan of his tribal politics arc, but fortunately he spent most of his time living alone and kicking people’s asses in challenges, and he grew on me considerably.

Coach, on the other hand, curdles on his third outing. A powerful alliance in Tocantins let him be a blowhard samurai idiot, but his time on Heroes and Villains was a tragicomedy of a man who claims to hold to a strict honor code forced to make morally compromising decisions, over and over. History repeats, but once again Coach is in the driver’s seat of a formidable 5-way alliance, and this time it’s very clear he wants to win. His gameplay is remarkably similar to Boston Rob’s no-hitter the previous season, but Coach isn’t ready to own up to his tricks.

The word “cult” is thrown around a lot when a charismatic contestant centers themselves in a gaggle of loyal alliance-mates, but the religious overtones of this season were very weird. Coach made sure everyone was always loudly praying, and conversations often turned to what God wanted for a given player. It does not surprise me that people bring their spirituality to the game, or that a riveting island adventure would take on a spiritual dimension for someone. But the constant scripture quoting and Most High-invoking ruffle a lot of feathers, and hurt a lot of feelings.

The chief casualty is Brandon, who has the misfortune of being a Hantz. The Scrappy Doo to Russell’s Scoob, Brandon is trying to restore the family name by playing a cleaner game, and spends his time haunted by what seems like a pretty gnarly past. Right off the bat, he attempts to eject a player for being too hot, making it her fault that he is Thinking Impure Thoughts. Every tribal, he bursts into tears, throwing everyone under the bus and wrestling with deep-seated shame (a meeting with his dad late in the season lays to rest questions of where this all comes from). Coach takes this baby bird under his wing, and they do a lot of clasping and praying and making promises. Brandon ends up being betrayed, and we find out at the reunion that his family is disappointed in his performance. This poor guy really needs to catch a break.

John “Cochran” Cochran is the only other standout player, that annoying kind of self-consciously awkward nerd who forces his nickname and gleefully takes the Rat Boy slot for the cast. His tribal betrayal opens the door for the Coach Faction to run the game, and Coach returns the favor by teaching him Tai Chi and then voting him off at the earliest possible opportunity.

In the end, Coach chooses the wrong goats, and comes in second to one of them. He did an admirable job getting his alliance to the finals, but unlike Rob, he wasn’t able to mollify the jury or own his game. His stated desire to get to the end with Honor and Integrity kept him in the driver’s seat of his alliance, but burned the very people he needed to vote for him at the end. Like Russell before him, he walked away from the game for a third time with the grand prize eluding him, his theory disproven. I don’t know if we’ve seen the last of Coach, but I’m not sure if there’s any more story to tell.