Survivor Season 17 - 2008

Gabon provided exquisite scenery and the challenges and merge shenanigans were great, but it was the social game, and larger-than-life characters, that put this one over the top. This is the story of Sugar, and the men she came to know.

Billed as a “pinup model”, Sugar was the kind of bubbly young woman that is often underestimated on Survivor, and who usually does better than anyone expects.

Her first man was photographer-with-dubious-British-accent Ace, who lovebombed her into being a reliable vote. Ace was a master of flattery, and expected Sugar to remain his loyal minion all the way through the game. She was the key vote in his blindside.

Randy had it out for Sugar immediately, but then again Randy had it out for every woman and person of color in the cast. One of the most viscerally unpleasant people on the entire show, it was clear to everyone that Randy had tissue-thin skin and a deep inferiority complex, which led him to dismiss the game of anyone who he considered to be inherently unworthy due to their identity. When Bill-Nye-Assed Motherfucker (dude used a buff as a bowtie) Bob made a fake immunity idol to bluff with, Sugar convinced him to give it to Randy because, and I quote, “it would be hilarious.” It was.

The season’s Rat Boy, Kenny, was at the time the best person on the planet at playing Marth in Melee, and grew out of his incel nerd roots into a likable underdog when he teamed up with hulking Olympian Crystal and used a series of inventive alliances to grind the dominant faction into dust. Ken was liberal with the truth, and this ended up being his undoing. An early exaggeration about Ace’s statements about Sugar got back to her, and when Ken set up an overly hubristic and elaborate scheme to knock out a threat, Sugar used the opportunity to play her hidden immunity idol. She had been exiled over and over due to the assumption that she would never find the idol, due to being blonde or something, and when she found it on the first night no one bothered to find out. She ended up handing it to alliance-mate Mattie in a show of force, leading to Crystal’s ouster instead. Kenny was soon to follow.

Amazingly, both of her idol plays were unnecessary. In both cases, the votes were there for the eventual outcome, but where’s the fun in that? Sugar had an eye for theatrics.

None of these moves endeared her to the jury, and based on their reactions to her I can only assume that she was personally annoying in the camp. But she played a great game, and her knowledge that the jury was poisoned freed her up to see her game through rather than cave to political pressure in pursuit of the grand prize. Two men gave her the respect she deserved, and she rewarded them each in kind. Mattie got her idol, and Bob, who became a surrogate father after the recent passing of her own, survived what should have been a vote to remove him due to a last minute switch from Sugar, and ended up winning.

I am given to understand that she was widely considered a villain of the season, but you know I have a soft spot for the misunderstood. We’re entering a golden age of this show, and I’m ready for it.