Stable of Delivery Professionals

Please browse our stable of DELIVERY PROFESSIONALS.

Enjoy their dappled PATTERNS. Note the glossiness of their COATS, which indicates good health. Compare their STATS.

If you see a DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL you like, approach slowly yet purposefully, making gentle eye contact. Offer a TREAT like a CARROT STICK or a handful of OATS.

In time, you will learn to mount your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL. Use gentle mouth sounds and subtle reining to guide them to their new JIRA BOARD.

By default, your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL will move at a leisurely pace. Increase VELOCITY by applying a firm kick to their side. You can build up considerable VELOCITY, but be careful; too many kicks too quickly will lead to BURNOUT, and you will need to wait for your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL to recover their STAMINA.

Your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL will, in the course of their work, produce fetid piles of TECH DEBT. Clean out their CALENDARS regularly and you will build LOYALTY, which creates greater THROUGHPUT per SALARY POINT invested.

With the right tools and attention, your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL may become a lifelong friend.

Upon successful exhaustion of their services, consider DESTROYING your DELIVERY PROFESSIONAL to access their BYPRODUCTS.