my chemical romance

i’m taking the last sips of the last can of caffeine free diet coke in the house. i want to stop drinking this stuff and i think i need to treat it like quitting smoking where you can’t just “have one” later and not get sucked into a full-time habit.

I don’t like how much I caffeinate when I want to indulge. I don’t like how I pick restaurants based on their ability to provide an endless fountain of brown chemical. I don’t like whatever it’s doing to my taste receptors and blood sugar and dopamine ecosystem.

But man do i love diet coke

It tastes like science. Its flavor is Chemical. It confounds the human tongue until, overcome by repetition, it relents and adapts. It tastes like bubbles and brown and Aspartame.

There is no real-world equivalent anywhere. It’s the diet variety of a Coke that no longer exists. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is the spicy brother that fits with Coca-Cola Classic. It is a ghost of a ghost, connected to nothing and no one. A singularity.

I know from experience that I will experience physical withdrawal, most acutely blood-sugar crashes and drowsiness. I’ll probably be cranky for a while too

But kicking this chemical dependency feels like a necessary prerequisite for doing more diet work, and I do not like being addicted to things.

Farewell, my sweet prince. Thanks for turning my blood to formaldehyde or whatever