parenting advice: preschoolers love surprises. use one to lure your child somewhere they don’t want to go, like outside or their bedroom. the object of the surprise can be actually cool, or just a fun piece of trash you find on your way to the car. the feeling of surprise at this age transcends whatever the object in question actually is. they get to experience the mundane and the present moment as holy revelation, and you get to exercise your improvisational skills.

the other night I was trying to get kid in the bathtub but she was in a running away mood so I told her there was a surprise. that got her attention but I had nothing. the words ‘mermaid unicorn’ entered my mind unbidden and I quickly GIS’d a picture of a mermaid unicorn. it was very well received.